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November 21, 2022 3:04 pm
'I Have Pretty Privilege, But There's a Dark Side'
When I was growing up in Vancouver, Canada, I never really thought about my looks. My appearance just wasn't something I deemed important or focused on. As a child, I was not generically beautiful, I went through an awkward phase where I had braces and my ears stuck out, but it wasn't something I paid much attention to or cared about.
As I got older, I started to wear make-up and focus more on my clothes and style. I noticed that I did get more attention, but it wasn't completely obvious to me why. I saw that people were talking to me and opening up more. I believe they were more receptive to me because of how I was presenting myself.
It's hard to pinpoint exactly when I first started being treated differently because of my looks, as the process was very gradual. But looking back, I can definitely remember changes happening around the age of sixteen, when I had my first job in the restaurant industry.
Experiencing "pretty privilege" for the first time
Around the age of twenty, I started working in the film industry. I'd had several jobs after high school and spent a few years figuring out what I wanted to do. Eventually, I began doing some background work on movie sets. When I started it was mainly for fun, but I have been pursuing a career in acting ever since.
Obviously when you work in the entertainment industry, how a person looks can be significant. Growing up the actors we see on screen are usually stereotypically beautiful and I believe the industry can be quite shallow.
When I first started out, I was lucky. I was upgraded quite a few times, which means my role on set was re-classified to a higher position. For example, I may be bumped up from a background performer to an actor.
Looking back now, I would say that my appearance contributed to that. In my experience, a production won't just upgrade you on the fly for your talent. It does tend to be based on looks.
I believe I have what is known as "pretty privilege." To me, that means that when another person initially meets you, they judge you solely on the way you look and that contributes to the way they treat you.
How pretty privilege impacts my life
Pretty privilege has impacted me in various ways. For example, working in the film industry, I've had six or seven upgrades over the years and I believe my good looks have contributed to those.
Other examples are going to certain coffee shops and getting free items or just receiving excessive compliments and people being extra nice to me. When it comes to nightlife, I have noticed such a difference. Staff will let me into certain clubs or let me skip the line purely based on how I look, which personally I think is gross.
Even if people aren't consciously judging someone based on their looks, being nicer or giving people more leeway because you find them more attractive than someone else, is wrong in my eyes.
The darker side of pretty privilege
In my opinion, some people assume that if you are stereotypically attractive then you've had an easy life, have never been through adversity, or dealt with any issues. But nobody's life is perfect and usually everyone is dealing with something.
I believe I have very much been stereotyped because of my looks. I have blonde hair and blue eyes and sometimes people will just look at me and make negative assumptions. Over the years I've been called a dumb blonde or had people who just give me an attitude off the bat for no reason.
Growing up I had a twin brother. We are very close and would joke around a lot, so I don't think I'm that sensitive. I am very secure within myself and have a good sense of humor, so when people do make jokes about me being stupid, I don't always view it as an attack.
However, there have been a couple of times, especially at work, where I have laughed but gone home and thought: "That was actually really inappropriate." It does make you feel bad, no matter what your confidence level or how secure you are in yourself, rude or negative comments like that can affect you.
Raising awareness of pretty privilege
I believe everyone in this world has qualities that make them beautiful. Individuality brings so much beauty to this world. But with that said, what people find stereotypically attractive in today's society means I have been treated differently and I can acknowledge that 100 percent.
Even though many people aren't aware of it, I feel pretty privilege is a really prevalent issue in society. Whether people realize it or not, subconsciously I believe most individuals base how they treat people on their appearance.
I want to remind people to treat everyone exactly the same, despite how they look. Be open and kind to everyone in this world.
All views expressed in this article are the author's own.
As told to Newsweek associate editor Monica Greep.
November 26, 2022 3:22 pm
i beleive in pretty privilege. Im not saying i agree but it's a thing that happens. Being attractive does help you out more in the acting industry.
November 27, 2022 1:28 pm
Pretty privilege is definitely a thing! I've seen it almost everywhere, especially at social gatherings or bars. I think it's sad to degrade other people purely based on physical properties.
January 9, 2023 2:43 pm
Pretty privilege is absolutely a thing. I've seen it first hand. I feel like its always a certain type of girl too. Thin with a pretty face. I think its pretty degrading and everyone needs to be respected as a whole.
January 9, 2023 2:44 pm
@cameranriddleiectskin-com You can have someone who is drop dead gorgeous but when their personality is trash to me it makes them less attractive.
January 9, 2023 2:46 pm
@camrynauxtiectskin-com I feel like when someone has pretty privelege they are the ones who are getting free drinks, or dont have to pay to get into the bar. A lot of bars will let pretty girls in for free.
January 14, 2023 3:42 pm
Pretty privilege is a real thing but I don't see it as being a privilege 100% of the time. For example some people see a very pretty person and somehow feel small or intimidated so they don't come up and talk to that person because they feel like they can't. I have never understood that.
January 14, 2023 3:46 pm
@camrynauxtiectskin-com I have been to many parties, family functions or even just going out some times and I have witnessed people getting treated better than other people just because of how they look.
January 14, 2023 3:48 pm
@paigebrickhouseiectskin-com 100% personality makes up for everything. Within my own friends I see it.
February 8, 2023 12:12 am
Pretty privilege blessing or curse.
I have had varying experiences of privilege unfortunately not all good. As a young girl age 13. All the boys had growth spurts but I, I fully developed from a flat chested tomboy to a fully blossom full cup C bra tiny waste and full hips. I felt uncomfortable as young girl walking around in a young women's body. The invisible and not so invisible looks from older boys and men. I was acutely aware of this unwanted attention. However, I often allowed me gain favor in making cheer team without trying out and becoming flag captain. I knew it was my looks and favor I had from male band instructor.
This favor was not always good. Strange men would often offer me ride home from the bus stop and would pull up to me while walking home. So, shyness has grown in guarded suspicious personality.
February 8, 2023 12:23 am
Ugly side of pretty privilege. Unwanted unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature is known as sexual harassment. The recent spot light from the me to movement has unveiled the ugly side of pretty privilege.
February 8, 2023 12:27 am
I would be lying if I said I have not had a free drink, gotten in the club free, cut line, bills. I know folks living for free on pretty privilege. However, most things dont come for free so beware.
May 5, 2023 11:44 am
It's sad and so small minded to judge another for what is on the outside. Pretty privilege is as real as it gets. I remember my first experience around the age of 16. It occurs in jobs, social settings, schools, & especially social media has such an impact on these kinds of things.
May 5, 2023 11:46 am
@camrynauxtiectskin-com agreed!! i've witnessed this first hand where groups of guys will judge a female based on their outer appearance, yes that plays a factor it's understandable but never judge a book by its cover, its sad for sure.
May 9, 2023 11:01 am
Pretty privilege is truly a blessing and a curse. you see it a lot at bars, parties, or even just at a gas station. It can have its perks but you also have to watch out for those who are just looking at your body and not your personality.
May 9, 2023 11:02 am
@sydneyhurdleiectskin-com there has been a study that some women lose their jobs for being too distracting with their looks.
May 9, 2023 4:43 pm
@themabrooksiectskin-com same here. I have gotten free drinks, food, into bars, etc. but it comes to a point where sometimes it can get way too uncomfortable
November 16, 2023 3:36 pm
I believe I may have experienced pretty privilege a couple of times, most people would argue its a good thing. However, in my experience I have been treated poorly just as much as I have been privileged. I have noticed many people treat me differently than how they treat someone else. They may think I am less intelligent or that I am mean just because of how I look.
November 16, 2023 3:37 pm
@madisonmauldiniectskin-com I have experienced many men taking how I look as an invitation to make sexual remarks to me and be inapropriate.
November 16, 2023 3:39 pm
@sydneyhurdleiectskin-com I agree, many people just look at someone and based on that simple judgement they may decide to treat them poorly, or better. It is very juvinile for anyone to do but especiall a grown person, who is usually the ones to do this unfortunatly.
December 14, 2023 3:19 pm
I can understand where she comes from. For many people it's exactly how she says, people think that because you're pretty, you have an easier life. While in the military, I was always judged for my looks. The "exotic" looks brought me a lot of pain and suffering because most men of all ranks looked at me a certain way and made inappropriate comments and most women treated me badly because they thought I got the "pretty privilege". I remember specifically being told by people that I got everything I wanted because of my looks, when in fact, I never got anything I wanted because people thought I could.
December 14, 2023 3:30 pm
@sydneyhurdleiectskin-com It works in some way, like social media where you can go viral or become "famous" for your looks. At one point I had over 10K followers, simply because of my looks. I posted pictures. Not showing anything like a lot of girls do. Just me being me. A famous Dominican rapper posted me on his social media at the time just expressing how "beautiful" I was and immediately the comments and followers flooded my page. I went from 200 followers to 7K over night and it kept increasing until I was almost 11K. I got offers to promote stores and was offered free stuff just to wear it. This of course was at the beginning of instagram, so it got overwhelming pretty quickly. Even posting pictures in uniform, I received unnecessary comments and hate from women. My page was hacked and I didn't get it back. In hindsight, I appreciate it. It was too much to be judged over looks and to even think that I couldn't post a regular picture because it would be scrutinized. I have a regular page now and even though it's not as many followers, I feel better.
December 14, 2023 3:38 pm
@karyssamarleriectskin-com It's very unfair. I know some people may think "boo hoo, look at you complaining over being pretty" I see comments on social media about it all the time and people think that just because somebody is pretty, they should shut up and color.
