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Topic starter
August 6, 2020 2:44 pm
Indian Matchmaking' presents painful truths about skin color and love in Indian culture but does nothing to challenge them
Published 22nd July 2020
Credit: Netflix
'Indian Matchmaking' presents painful truths about skin color and love in Indian culture but does nothing to challenge them
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On Netflix's "Indian Matchmaking," marriage consultant Sima Taparia travels the world to meet with hopeful clients and help them find the perfect match for an arranged marriage.
The format of the show is simple. Hopeful brides- and grooms-to-be meet with Taparia -- often with their overbearing parents in tow -- for an initial consultation. Criteria are laid out, potential suitors are presented on paper, dates are arranged, and then it's up to the couple to decide if it's a match.
In some respects, the producers should be commended. This is a show that turns away from the "big fat Indian wedding" trope and offers something fresh: a look at how some traditional-facing couples meet through the services of a professional matchmaker.
The characters' stories -- as well as cringier moments -- play out in entertaining ways, at times revealing the absurdities and awkwardness of matchmaking. I laughed when, for example, Taparia sought the consultation of an astrologist and a face reader.
Matchmaker Sima Taparia meets with hopeful clients. Credit: Netflix
At other points, the show presents brutal truths about Indian culture: the emphasis on being "fair"; the enormous pressure to wed; the focus on caste and class; the stigmatization of independent, working women.
But the show fails to contextualize or even question these problematic beliefs when they're brought up by its characters, presenting them instead as the status quo.
With that, Netflix missed an opportunity to challenge a social system fraught with cultural biases, and also educate a global audience on important nuances. In Sima Taparia, the show found a regressive anchor who merely peddles flawed practices.
Colorism
Mentioned casually but frequently throughout the eight episodes is the idea that candidates should be "fair," or in other words, have light skin.
The subject of skin color and, subsequently, social status in Indian culture is incredibly complex. While people with darker skin tones are subjected to harsh discrimination and prejudice, fairness is revered and associated with beauty, wealth and power.
Vyasar Ganesan (left) and Rashi (right) on episode six of "Indian Matchmaking." Credit: Netflix
This cultural bias is engrained from an early age, with women bearing more of the societal pressure to have lighter skin. If you're a woman, darker skin can be a deal-breaker for families seeking the perfect wife for their son. For men, fair skin is seen as a bonus but not as much of a requirement.
Colorism and the desirability of "fairness" is drilled into young girls. In my own case, it started when I was in middle school in India, when my classmates taunted me for having darker skin. Older women would also make unsolicited comments about my complexion, veiled as genuine concern for me and my future marriage prospects.
In India, the beauty standard is further perpetuated by pop culture and a booming cosmetic industry.
Fair and Lovely skin fairness cream at a shop in New Delhi. Credit: Sajjad Hussain/AFP via Getty Images
Skin lightening products are heavily marketed. Actors with glowing, pale complexions are the stars of Bollywood movies while their dark-skinned counterparts play poor, disenfranchised characters. Some dating apps even include skin tone filters.
Unspoken rules
"Indian Matchmaking" itself offers a window into the lifestyles of an elite class of Indians who can enlist the service of a top-tier matchmaker, and in some cases, fly them to the other side of the world. This is not something regular families do, so status is already built into the narrative.
Perhaps this makes it easier for families to avoid explicitly specifying fair skin as part of their match criteria. Taparia assumes it goes without saying, and constantly describes women as a "good person" or match because they are "fair and good looking." Some of the families rely on this -- it allows them to be politically correct and vague in their search for someone "good looking" without explicitly saying "fair."
Pradhyuman Maloo in episode four of "Indian Matchmaking." Credit: Netflix
Yet, they get exactly the kind of complexion they want to see. It's the equivalent of writing "caste no bar" in a matrimonial ad -- a suggestion that the person who placed the ad is willing to consider candidates regardless of social hierarchy -- but in reality only going on dates with people from the "community," which becomes a euphemistic catch-all term for people from the same religion, caste or class.
Take the young Mumbai-based Pradhyuman Maloo, who features prominently in the show, as an example. His well-to-do parents desperately want him to settle down and find a wife, but he seems mostly uninterested in the women presented to him, until he's shown a photo of Rushali Rai, a beautiful model from Delhi. His eyes light up at the sight of her. Taparia describes her as "fair and good-looking, but also, she's smart."
When Maloo first sees her photo, he is elated. "Ahh, she's so cute!"
"I'll tell you that from her dressing style to her look and everything, how she carries herself, that I can meet her," he said. "It's going to be exciting. It's going to be fun."
Pradhyuman Maloo on a date with actor and model Rushali Rai on "Indian Matchmaking." Credit: Netflix
Watching the two side-by-side on their date, it's impossible to ignore the fact that, of all the characters in the show, they have the most similar skin tones. Their pairing does nothing to challenge the deep-rooted cultural notion that you should marry someone with a similar background.
Changing attitudes
As for women who don't fit the "fair, tall and slim" criteria, we do see the show acknowledging a different fate. Businesswoman Ankita Bansal is sent to a life coach, with whom she discusses the insecurities she had with her body growing up.
"People would come and tell me that you're never going to find anybody because you have to lose some weight," said Bansal, adding that she suffered from "off the charts" anxiety. "So that played a very big part in how I lost my confidence completely in even trying to approach a man."
The life coach acknowledges that such expectations can be unrealistic, and hurtful when it comes to a woman feeling her true worth. "I think it's so -- superficial, maybe, that they're only defining us by the way we look."
Nadia Jagessar on episode two of "Indian Matchmaking." Credit: Netflix
But attitudes towards "fairness" and beauty ideals are changing. Young people -- who are usually more social-media savvy and better educated -- feel more empowered to go against the grain, and to put pressure on those who continue to perpetuate beauty standards.
There are several ongoing campaigns that call out celebrities who endorse skin-lightening products, and some Bollywood stars have refused to be associated with these creams.
The campaign "Dark is Beautiful" has waged its decade-long fight against colorism by creating awareness programs about skin bias. Others like "Dark is Divine" and "Unfair and Lovely" have also since joined the fight.
The show sidesteps signs of such progress, instead providing a platform for outdated clichés over cultural debate and context. Fittingly, in one of the final scenes, Richa, a young Indian American woman, who Tapaira gives "95 out of 100," reels off her criteria for the perfect match.
It's not the first point in a long list, but when she comes to it, it lands jarringly.
"Not too dark, you know, fair-skinned."
Topic starter
August 6, 2020 3:22 pm
Its a situation for young women that have darker complexions are ridiculed in some societies. The color of the skin plays a huge role in the self-esteem and customs of certain cultures. No wonder there are so many users of whitening creams.
As different ideas change some of these practices may not be as important in the future
August 18, 2020 11:46 am
To begin, colorism is a real thing. I haven't actually watched the show but I have bee reading about the controversial viewpoints between viewers (and in some cases, those indigenous to the Indian culture). Colorism is still so deeply rooted in both societal and beauty standard that we live in today. Women and men throughout various part of the world are ridiculed and harassed daily regarding the tone of their skin that society claims to be "too dark". In the case of "Indian Matchmaker", western beauty standards, and what we consider in most media- especially high fashion and makeup, lighter/fairer skin is deemed "more beautiful" causing nothing but separation and elitism based on the tone of your skin. Nothing about my tone makes me better or worse as a wife, friend, career woman, model, nothing. It makes me, me.
August 18, 2020 11:50 am
@deborahwatersiectskin-com yes ma'am. The idea behind marketing to people with darker toned skin that their skin NEEDS to be lighter or that darker toned skin is unattractive or "unpretty"- is sick. American beauty standards have been known to be detrimental to generations and generations of women and men and it's the time that we eliminate and rebuild genuine healthy education around skincare of every shade.
Topic starter
August 25, 2020 1:10 pm
Way back in early history people with light skintone were in the upper class of society. I dont agree with that but it was the case. Today people lighten skin for so many reasons.
February 22, 2026 9:07 pm
This makes me really sad. I really hate that our stupid western beauty standards are having effects on women all over the world. crazy how white women in the west are always trying to get more tan and have more color but so many other ethnicities always want to have lighter skin tones. I really think its just a marketing scheme on women to never be happy and feel insecure even when it comes to the complexion of their skin. Shame on the men...because you know that's where it came from.
February 26, 2026 1:20 pm
I did a research project in undergrad to bring back up the conversation of colorism in the African American community, utilizing the cabbage patch/barbie experiment as the base. As a Guyanese woman, I personally haven't experienced anyone in my family wish to be lighter, however, in other cultures, like the Indian Guyanese community, it is a big controversial issue. It has to do with how society has portrayed the image of success and privilege as White skin and blonde hair. When I was introduced to the idea of colorism, I just moved back to the US and I lived in Texas. My heart hurt that some beautiful girls thought so low of themselves just because their shade was not lighter.
February 26, 2026 1:24 pm
@francescablackiectskin-com Absolutely! I have some beautiful friends and aquaintences, and when I hear their traumatizing stories of being treated unfairly and having self hatred due to their skin complexion, my heart just broke. I never had the desire to be lighter. On the contrary, I wanted darker skin. Because I moved around and my family is big on educational standards, I apparently spoke in a more eloquent way than my peers. I was always teased that I wasn't Black because I spoke proper English and had lighter skin. Although I love who I am, growing up, I felt that if my skin was darker, I'd be more accepted.
February 26, 2026 1:28 pm
@deborahwatersiectskin-com You are absolutely correct. I know for us in the "dirty South", the lighter skin African American's were able to "pass". By being able to blend in, they were given more opportunities and treated like humans. Those continued experiences solidified that, in order for you to be able to succeed and build a better life, you HAVE to be as close to White skin as possible.
February 26, 2026 4:10 pm
Being a woman of color I completely understand living in a world that is based on a colorism mentality. In my culture the women who's skin are lighter are looked at as prettier than those of us who have a deeper tone. There are even comments like "you are pretty to be a dark skinned girl" as if your skin tone implies that you should not be attractive or seen as attractive. I think that this became a thought based on European beauty being labeled the "true beauty" and that culture wanted to be as light as possible.
February 26, 2026 4:11 pm
@kijonnaroeiectskin-com This is so true in every culture, and not only your skin complexion but the way that you carried yourself, or your social status had to fit the ideal status along with the skin complexion and it's horrible because it literally has affected the entire world and every culture.
February 26, 2026 4:14 pm
@deborahwatersiectskin-com This is still the case today. In every culture the closer you look to "pure white" the more advantages you are given and opportunities you are given. It creates this division within all cultures, and for the people who are lighter they hate it because they aren't liked and their efforts (for those who actually work for what they have) are minimized because its assumed they are given everything.
